Frederick Buechner once said that God's calling for our lives is found at the place where the deep longing and desire He has placed in our hearts meets up with the deep need and hunger that the world is experiencing.
Essentially, that where doing what we desire most to do, realized in the purest, most honest period of self-reflection, most meets the needs of the world around us, there we will find the calling that God has for us.
So why is so hard to make to that X in the road, to find ourselves living within the rich blessing and opportunity of existing in God's calling?
Why is it so easy to get distracted? Why do I feel stories burning holes in my brain that I need to get out on paper (part of the soul-stirring identification of the deep longing that God has placed within me) and yet I struggle to accomplish finishing any of them except in little bursts, keeping me from yet reaching the place where the deep longing within me will serve the deep need of the world around me.
Is it selfishness on my part? That I don't really want to share my deep longing with the world, maybe for fear that it will be laughed at and thrown back in my face? I don't think this is the case; I just feel like my ability to meet the world's needs with my deep longing would be much better accomplished if God would work it that I could be locked away in a mountain cabin for several months... (Said tongue-in-cheek).
I hope that we as Christian can get better at recognizing what the deep longing within us is and how God is directing us to meet the needs of the world around us.
Marking an 'X in the road' brings to my mind a fairly static image. I think I would be more inclined to describe being aligned with God's calling as walking a path, rather than standing in a particular place. Maybe I'm inferring too much. I'm certainly not dismissing your frustration, just wondering if the short bursts of creativity are signs of your faithfully walking the path you're supposed to be on at this point in the journey.
ReplyDeleteThen again, maybe your frustration is the prompting of the Spirit to take some more decisive action--a short retreat? Several months of solitude in a cabin may not be feasible, but perhaps a weekend away in which to listen, pray, and write? There are places you could do that, right? Peace of Christ, brother.
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